Forgive yourself for letting this happen to you (I felt so much resentment towards myself and I know it’s a hard one to admit). I did stand up to him and his “everyone” with the real truth about him and I know they don’t give closure and I exposed him. He was even trying to be intimate with me. Please understand that no matter what he’s doing or what he says or spews out, he will never treat you any differently. But just wanted to tell you that you won’t meet anyone who loves you as much as I did. They never LOVED you in the first place and its all an act on their part. I would also suggest for you to try for a moment to detach yourself from your personal circumstances and read the post you posted here as if it were a family member or close friend writing you for advice. Hope this helps. I don’t want to believe that she’s a narc., its so hard to accept that someone could do these things to someone on purpose, knowing how vulnerable I was. Then he complains and says I haven’t done anything for his son.. Plus how can I when I never see him? Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., LMFT is an award-winning therapist and writer. as reading many of the other posts on here I too experience many of these qualities. And if your answer is, “No,” well…there’s your answer to your question. Reading that over and over helped me realize that she is nothing, but one evil and pathological liar and lying slut! When I did this as an exercise during counseling I was able to stand on the other side of the fence if you will, and look at the situation with new eyes. He made it virtually impossible to focus on anything else. I’m finally realizing that I have to stay away and go No contact with her. His apology was insincere. As soon as we got together he begins to start controlling me treating me like shit, going MIA and just doing things that didn’t feel right. Then proceeding to ask my how I was and do I want a hug and trying to tug at my heart strings by doing gestures trying to touch me or tweak my nose like he used to. Make Him Regret Cheating Game Plan. You don’t have to wait for the next shoe to drop and then try and untangle and explain the 20 balls of tangled yarn the Narc. Only recently did I realize what real NP really was and that he had it. A month and a half went by with her constantly texting me demanding child support payments even though we were not even divorced. It would’ve hurried the process along I think. I wasn’t dumb knew it was all game told him I wouldn’t get back with him ever and he never have me as his gf again!! What if the narc never hoovered back in this way? So, we started another short-lived chain of texts. They really do see you as a stupid sucker . I’m trying to get away from him still and it’s so hard. Block them from everything an anything!!! Since then he had given me the silent treatment so many times I can’t count. This is the way things are. But if this is the first time you’ve mentioned it and he goes ballistic, this is indicative of a guy who is truly guilty. Now I’m depressed and anxiety ridden, but I’m trying to build myself into a person. Fingers crossed he has.. Don’t let this kind of manipulation fool you. . Yes you did the right thing and let them think what they like. except from the inside out. You can ask that they read a self-help book with you. If you want him to be afraid of losing you, you will have to stand up for yourself. Then he acts like he doesnt understand why I cant trust him. I truly thought they were my friends. I wish I could win the lottery if only for that. He’ll keep feeding your need for him because of his need to have your admiration. I am still legally married to my narc. I addressed it to her and she decided to blame me for making this profile of her. these people are incapable of any form of love or empathy. The day after the abuse incident he texted me and said”I’ve done awful things, I’m going straight to hell!” Good advice. If you have reasons for your suspicions, you need to give your mate a chance to explain and come clean if he or she has strayed. If you’re with a narcissist who also has an addiction (I was – he is a “functioning” alcoholic), the problem is then compounded even more exponentially. I had blocked his number on my iPhone but today I deleted his number all together which technically means he could contact me but I didn’t even want his number on my phone anymore. (everyone has a white car!) The lies and cheating just seem to have no end ;(. They will pull no punches and you will see everything you’ve ever said thrown back at you in an attempt to weaken your defenses. Within that time Ive almost lost my house , my car , have had to cash in my daughters college fund , cash in my retirement ( im only 34) but Im a hard worker, and save $. There can be a lot of life left in your relationship. I make them pull the lever and get punished. I was wise to his ways, I had ended the relationship and went No Contact. Just coming off a 3 year relationship with a narc. “If you won the lottery a week after they left you – that would make them nearly suicidal.”. Whenever I busted him he would do this weird version of cow towing to me rather than acting like an adult. Although usually referring to an Italian meal made of noodles with sauce, spaghetti can be used as a form of slang to mean an embarrassing act, general awkwardness or faux pas. although i had lost all hope on the relationship, i was still scared to leave because i had no proof. And true to form he has tried to pull out the stops. For some reason, I just have to stay angry to push through. 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