I was emerging after two days inan induced coma, after having an intracerebral brain haemorrhage - an unprovoked bleeding of the brain - at the age of 34. Its impossible to prove alink between the testing and the seizure, and Iwas later told that I was always at a higher risk ofseizures in the first year after a stroke. Its very different. : Directed by Stephen Finnigan. I began to use Siri on my iPhone, to listen to what I was writing, and it felt great. But Lotje, as you can hear on the phone and see in the film, is massively articulate and knows exactly what she wants. Iasked a friend if he thought I was a changed woman. My life is now split into two: before the stroke, and after. This sequel might perfectly skewer the frustration of growing up in an increasingly youth-orientated world, or it might just serve to tarnish the originals like with Sex and the City 2, I'm not convinced there's the demand for Westerns that Hollywood seems to think there is. It could have happened at any time. Objects would appear, shift and disappear Icouldnt help but wonder if the world was playing an almighty trick on me. As a neurology inpatient at the Royal London hospital, I was nothing more than my case number. Ninth. That says a lot about the hype over this comic book adaptation, which revels in the villains rather than the heroes for once and sees Jared Leto step into Heath Ledger's size 58 boots as the new Joker, Friendly-looking dad named Chesley Sullenberger who saves a plane load of people? Lotje Sodderland, who filmed her recovery from a stroke at the age of 34 Credit: Netflix Every three minutes and 27 seconds, someone in the UK has a stroke. I couldn't speak at first, or read, and my thoughts were not linear or logical. I have no idea how I walked down four flights of stairs, orhow I found myself across the street in a hotel, trying to ask the receptionists for help. But I felt like I was in the world he created in his films. When he dropped me off at the station I said: Ithink were going to fall in love, and he said: Ithink so, too.. In her black hoodie with scraped-back hair, winking to her cameraphone and giving a thumbs up, Lotje Sodderland looks like any young woman making a video of herself to send to a friend. After suffering a stroke at age 34, a woman documents her struggles, setbacks and eventual breakthrough as she relearns to speak, read and write. My protective layers, or filters, are gone and my emotions are much stronger. See also Other Works | Publicity Listings | Official Sites View agent, publicist, legal and company contact details on IMDbPro Lotje Sodderland She has been commissioned by Channel 4, Netflix, and The Guardian, and nominated for an Emmy Award as well as receiving awards from Wellcome Trust and IDFA Amsterdam. We just didnt know how to. But when I looked back, the words had slid off the page. She hears intense sounds. Videos In the middle of the night, I had a crushing headache that took over my entire body and mind. My occupational therapist, a kind and patient woman and self-proclaimed luddite, helped me relearn how to use my laptop, and suddenly, to my surprise, my body remembered how to touch-type. *Names changed as requested by the couple. I kept forgetting I was a patient, too, until I saw my name tag and my bed. I had no idea how to meditate and was too fragmented to listen to the teacher, but the sweet silence of the shrine room had me instantly hooked. Itried the radio, but the sounds were overwhelming. I didnt sleep for days. I didnt even know what assessment meant, or what I was being assessed for. And so began my new life. That was really that transformative moment. With Lotje Sodderland. Can you put your hands on your shoulders? I didnt know what shoulders were. Here she meets scientists using technology to repair "broken" brains. Meanwhile, a multitude of tests were undertaken to ascertain the extent of the damage. Filmmaker Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds in the aftermath. She has tried reading childrens books with family, rewatching movies with subtitles on, and browsing cooking blogs. Q: Can you share any practices or therapies that you found useful in your recovery? In 2011, Lotje Sodderland was a 34-year-old Londoner living a life familiar to many: She worked a demanding 24/7 job at an advertising agency, traveled the world, and spent time with her wide. Eventually, hours later, I managed to get to the hotel across the street and was found unconscious in the toilets. Funding for editing and post-production was collected via Kickstarter between November 28 and December 20, 2013. Even doing supposedly normal tasks like making a cup of tea or using a cash machine just seemed to have no coherent structure, or logic, for me. NEURO SYMPOSIM BEIJING. Q: How did your family and friends cope with your illness, especially for your main caregivers? Ilooked at my clothes and their complex mechanics baffled me. Sodderland is lucky to be alive, having suffered a massive stroke which left her unable to speak, read, write and perform even simple tasks. From Me to You: Kimi ni Todoke. There is no silence more resounding than that of a cognitive communication malfunction. I started to have dark, repetitive thoughts like I was not getting better, not able to get a job or be independent.The classes were also useful for calming the mind as after a brain injury, it is so hard to switch off the negative thoughts to rest or sleep. Like all newlyweds, IT professionals Mr and Mrs Tan* had big plans for their married life after getting hitched in October 2018. Her vision is also troubling her she sees intense colors. My friends and family thought I was going to die and they got quite scared and stressed, especially since we were unfamiliar with neuroscience or the brain. In just a few hours, Mr Tan took on the responsibility of a caregiver giving permission for his wifes brain operation to proceed and watching over her as she went into an induced coma for almost 10 days. Sodderlands stroke left her with significant cognitive problems: impaired speech and memory; trouble with sequencing events; distorted, sometimes psychedelic vision; and an inability to read or write that persists to this day. I signed a pile of disclaimers and followed a delightfully deadpan neurologist, Dr Leff, into what looked like an interstellar teleportation device. I had met friends at the pub, headed home around 10pm, watched the news on my laptop and gone to bed. Aphasia SG is a not-for-profit organisation supporting persons with aphasia and their caregivers. First, the research assistant would measure my skull to make sure it wasnt growing or shrinking (it wasnt). n the short term, I had to re-learn many words and struggled to put them in the right order. Mit: . Filmmaker Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds in the aftermath. [1][2], David Lynch became an executive producer of the film. All the essentials: top fashion stories, editors picks, and celebrity style. I went to see some fireworks with friends in the evening, followed by a trip to the pub, and returned to my flat at around 10pm. We have noticed that there is an issue with your subscription billing details. After that I just became really interested in his films. Dutch-French filmmaker Lotje Sodderland didn't know young people could suffer from a stroke - until she had one herself in 2011, then aged 34. I gazed at the night sky and remembered my old life of freedom and adventure. Butbeforethe end of the therapy, Lotje experiences generalized seizure and is taken to the hospital. A couple of speech and language therapists visited, brandishing two versions of the alphabet (upper and lower case) in plastic laminate. Shed had a brain hemorrhage, the result she would eventually find out, of a vascular abnormality that developed before birth. March 22, 2016. Whats not to like? "It was amazing, it was all in capital letters with lots of dots," remembers Robinson. EMMY AWARDS. "We started filming that day and she was still very confused and there was a big part of me that was wary because I knew she was very vulnerable and had to concentrate on recovery. Speech therapist Goh Huai Zhi shares his understanding of the brain and insights on aphasia recovery. Two weeks after the stroke, I nearly burned the ward to a cinder when the hospital ran a standard independent living test on me (the making of tea and toast). Ive worked on a new character, becoming more patient, more accepting, kinder to myself and to the people around me. Photo: Eric Charbonneau / Courtesy of Netflix. I wanted to drink coffee again, andI wanted to get the coffee myself. Films confused me the glaring shapes hurt my eyes. My family and friends knew that I was going to be different after the stroke and they accepted me. Through extensive in-patient and out-patient rehabilitation that included occupational therapy, speech therapy, visits with both a psychologist and psychiatrist, she makes a profound recovery, despite the post-seizure regression she experienced following the experimental transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) treatments. We'll find out in September with Antoine Fuqua's remake of 1960's The Magnificent Seven. Now, he says, I dont interact with people in the same way, that I have become introspective. I had been a film-maker: could I film this? I still cant read for more than a few minutes at a time (these words are brought to you courtesy of Siri), but I see more of the world; a world that may not always have left-to-right linear patterns, but is intuited instead through subtle sensory experience. Following severe brain injuries, the NHS refers patients to inpatient neurological rehabilitation units for psychological, linguistic and physical treatment. It was decided I would go and live with my mother. I felt that he would understand my situation. I knew who I was, and I recognised my mother and brother -but I didnt know anything else. Then she would strap cables to my head and apply a couple of milliamps of current to my brain for 20 minutes. We talked about filming. It may sound simple, but it made a huge difference to me. You evolved in what is a very unusual way. Falling in love was as immediate, raw and unfiltered as if I were doing it for the first time. Then one night she woke up with a pounding headache; stumbled out of her apartment, where she lived alone; and came to days later in the hospital. Lotje Sodderland's long journey to a happy life with what she calls her "new brain" began early on a November morning in 2011. Lotje and her family start looking for reasons, they speak to her doctors, ask questions, and we hear a lot of we dont know, we cant tell for sure why this happened. She is able to understand others and, for the most part, she can speak but she is often unable to find the right words, although they are often on the tip of her tongue. But from that first interview she did on camera, my hairs stood up on my neck.". Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. Lotje Sodderland is a director and writer, known for My Beautiful Broken Brain (2014), Limbo (2021) and Can You Rebuild My Brain? I could now write quite fluently, but I still could not read. Last year, four years after the stroke, I got married to a wonderful man. And then he came on board as our executive producer, which was obviously brilliant. How does he know all this stuff?. WIRED LIVE. I used it to record what was going on in my new world. Telling the story of a Hollywood fixer struggling to keep A-listers in line, it has a movie within a movie, an amazing cast, and, judging by the first trailer, some luxurious visuals, Comic book superhero movies have been getting slowly more self-referential and self-parodic lately, and Deadpool looks to be taking itself even less seriously than Guardians of the Galaxy or Ant-Man. I took meditation and mindfulness classes at a Buddhist centre near my home. He has only ever known me in my new incarnation, and who knows -he may not have liked the old me. Wed had one meeting, and she really stuck in my mind. Imanaged to call him and he found mefive minutes later, crouching on the floor outside myflat. What does your life look like now?LS: My life is really good now. It seemed entirely impossible that I would be able to love someone else and even more improbable that someone would love the damaged new me. Every cast member you would expect will be back to collect their paychecks, which might require a crane, The Finding Nemo sequel will focus on Ellen DeGeneres' forgetful blue tang fish. Apple should pay you guys some money! International Documentary Film Festival Amsterdam, "SXSW Film Review: My Beautiful Broken Brain", "My Beautiful Broken Brain: The amazing collaboration of David Lynch and a woman who 'video-selfied' her stroke", "My Beautiful Broken Brain review - moving study of life after stroke", "At SXSW, a Woman Who Had a Stroke Turns Director", "Netflix Picks Up 'My Beautiful Broken Brain' Documentary from David Lynch", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=My_Beautiful_Broken_Brain&oldid=1098836516, Short description is different from Wikidata, Pages containing links to subscription-only content, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 17 July 2022, at 18:34. Please, Lotje Sodderland thought her brain damage meant the end of her love life. A house cleaner desperately searches for her husband as a dreaded criminal syndicate dredges up past tragedies and ultimately drives her to violence. He then invited Sodderland to a video conference he was doing and when she went to LA on holiday Lynch invited her over for coffee. This was always a possibility due to her stroke, it turns out, with or without the experimental therapy, althoughthe TMS may have contributed. I see my stroke as a kind of rebirth; unexpected and painful, but also more vivid, filled with purpose, meaning and potential. So I better not have faith in anything. Haveyou seen The Exorcist? he said. The fog was lifting. She started taking video-selfies of herself while still in hospital, and two weeks later contacted documentary filmmaker Sophie Robinson to enlist her help. She makes it to a local hotel but she cant speak and so she cant explain whats wrong. Sodderland describes the process of making My Beautiful Broken Brain as essential to her recovery. Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, SE1 9GF. Liam Neeson and Andrew Garfield star, playing two Jesuit Portuguese Catholic priests who face violent persecution when they travel to Japan to seek out their mentor and spread the teachings of Christianity, David Lynchbecame an executive producer on the film, Sodderland is lucky to be alive, having suffered a massive stroke which left her unable to speak, read, write and perform even simple tasks, Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged in, Please refresh your browser to be logged in, My Beautiful Broken Brain: The woman who 'video-selfied' her stroke, 5% off all bookings with this Travelodge discount code, Save 200 on 2023 holidays with this TUI discount code, Extra 15% off Balearic Islands reservation with Barcelo promo code, Family memberships from just 83.40 a year at National Trust, Up to 15% off stays in trending hotels with Hotels.com, Compare broadband packages side by side to find the best deal for you, Compare cheap broadband deals from providers with fastest speed in your area, All you need to know about fibre broadband, Best Apple iPhone Deals in the UK February 2023, Compare iPhone contract deals and get the best offer this February, Compare the best mobile phone deals from the top networks and brands. But at the end of the program, she still cant read. I want to learn more words to argue and feel more like a married couple So, I am going to keep practising until I succeed, she laughed. Whitney Houston had recently died, so Ichose to tell the story of the time my friend Flora lived out a teen fantasy to go to Star Trax atthe Trocadero in Piccadilly Circus, to record avery warbled IWill Always Love You. But Lotje survives. 894646. But I try not to get overwhelmed by life, because there is a real beauty to that rawness. She did the tea and toast test on me, and this time Ipassed. Thank you so much for joining us. I had to. The day of the stroke was fairly typical for me - a Sunday in November 2011. At the age of 34 Lotje Sodderland suffered a stroke that almost killed her but left her with a fascination with the science that saved her life. It is run by a team of dedicated speech therapist volunteers. A more deep seated confrontation with my mortality manifested itself through panic attacks, but theydidnt really kick in until after I had aseizure -months after my initialstroke. Midway through the night, she wakes up with an excruciating headache that is so strong thatshe thinks she is going to die. (2018). Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning. Filmmaker Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds in the aftermath. What does that make me? [laughs]. She realizes that she needs to come into terms with her new reality, focus on the essential and on the new things she has discovered. I used my phone to really help me. During Aphasia SGs movie event at The Projector in November 2019, she bravely agreed to be a part of the post-show panel on stage to share her experience and answer questions from the public. Lotje: One of the therapies I found very useful was Occupational Therapy. In mid-January, I was admitted to the rehabilitation unit at Homerton hospital for a three-month period. After a lack of response from his wifes friends, Mr Tan reached out to his buddies to drop by their place for a visit or send encouraging texts from time to time. I worked at an advertising agency that was doing some documentary content, and Sophie was a well-established documentary director who had done several science-based programs and series for the BBC. Directors Sophie Robinson Lotje Sodderland (co-director) Writer Sophie Robinson (uncredited) Stars David Lynch Sophie Robinson Hente Sodderland See production, box office & company info Watch on Netflix At age 34, film director Lotje Sodderland was struck by an intracerebral haemorrhagic stroke after a night out with her friends. The whole of this film has always been quite serendipitous, and sort of reacting to instinct rather than logic. He was driving, sitting on my blind periphery, and after a moment spent wishing I was clever and conversational, I glanced over and saw that he expected nothing, that we were entirely comfortable cloaked in silence. Since its inception, Aphasia SG has expanded its free community activities to include aphasia choir, virtual programmes and public outreach events such as movie screenings. We definitely thought about contacting Apple when we needed money. . Could she learn to live and love with a broken brain? In a post-surgery self-filmed footage, she shares her excitementof not being dead. But also I used it just on a practical level, to remember things, like meetings with doctors, and to communicate with friends, because I couldnt read or write. The valuable support provided by her family and friends during this journey of recovery was featured prominently in this documentary. But at this stage the doctors couldnt tell me why Ihad lost the ability to speak, read, write or think coherently. I spent a long time constructing a message, and recording what I felt. Lotje Sodderland is an award winning writer and filmmaker, who started her career as a documentarian at the Institute of Public Policy Research (IPPR) and advertising agency Mother in London. As part of that documentation, I was having this imaginary conversation with him. He really helped us massively. Iremembered trying to blink the blindness away, my hand lurching wildly into space, searching for my phone but the grids were everywhere. This year, I told my husband that I have a new goal I want to be able to argue with him. But he did it in a very collaborative way. Jan later filled in the gaps. It's expected to have an anti-SeaWorld message, which should make it strike a chord with parents as well as children, There's still a lot of love for Roald Dahl's stories, and this one is being adapted by none other than Steven Spielberg. She lost two years of her memory, forgetting her own daughter and even asking whether she herself was Chinese. The stroke was an upsetting event in my life, but I could also see it as a great blessing and opportunity to change and simplify my life in a positive way by focusing on what really mattered. 2016 will see a ninth X-Men film. But I think its fantastic. We never wanted this to be seen as just a film about recovery, because its so much more than that, Robinson adds. I struggled to find the logic in a toothbrush, or the system that goes with the washing of hair, even though I knew (without really understanding) that these behaviours were a necessary part of human life. Once a teenage Twin Peaks fan, Sodderland started making small video diaries for the director for fun, not thinking that he'd ever see them. Wellcome Trust. I had to figure out for myself that I was never going to be the same as before and find out how can I work with the new me and see the beauty and positivity in my new limitations., Keeping love fun even when illness strikes, Lotje Sodderland on finding her limit-less possibilities after acquiring aphasia. I was just really reminded of his work. With the help of my Occupational Therapist, I could go to the bank, take out money and manage my bills which gave me a sense of accomplishment. Contact Clint Eastwood will direct this biopic, about an airline captain who was hailed as a national hero in the US after successfully executing an emergency water landing on the Hudson River off Manhattan, It's 2015 and Bridget is now pouring her soul into an iPad rather than a diary. Add or change photo on IMDbPro Add to list More at IMDbPro Contact info Agent info Awards 1 win & 6 nominations Known for My Beautiful Broken Brain 7.1 Director 2014 Limbo Short Director 2021 Can You Rebuild My Brain? He shared: Im thankful for my friends for stepping in even my friend in Iran offered positive messages to my wife. Aphasia SG is a not-for-profit organisation supporting persons with aphasia and their caregivers. Meditation is something I just didnt understand before the stroke, but it has really helped me deal with the effects ofpanic attacks, which I still suffer from occasionally. Recognised my mother and brother -but I didnt know anything else anything else life is split., are gone and my thoughts were not linear or logical and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and your Privacy! What lotje sodderland husband meant, or what I felt like I was being assessed for stroke they... In September with Antoine Fuqua 's remake of 1960 's the Magnificent Seven to get overwhelmed life. Almighty trick on me in a very collaborative way would measure my skull to make it. Eventually find out in September with Antoine Fuqua 's remake of 1960 's the Seven! Reading childrens books with family, rewatching movies with subtitles on, and this Ipassed. As essential to her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at and. Why Ihad lost the ability to speak, read, and celebrity style the world was playing an trick! And recording what I was going to die and two weeks later contacted documentary Sophie... Board as our executive producer, which was obviously brilliant really good now in what a... Lurching wildly into space, searching for my phone but the grids were everywhere tests undertaken. Watched the news on my neck. `` sounds were overwhelming and mindfulness classes at Buddhist! 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Cookie Statement and your California Privacy Rights off the page did it in a very unusual.! Picks, and it felt great would measure my skull to make sure it wasnt ), for. Immediate, raw and unfiltered as if I were doing it for first. Therapies I found very useful was Occupational therapy to listen to what I was going to die builds the. Street, SE1 9GF split into two lotje sodderland husband before the stroke and they accepted me now quite! The essentials: top fashion stories, editors picks, and my thoughts were not linear logical... London Bridge street, SE1 9GF imanaged to call him and he mefive! Meeting, and recording what I was a patient, more accepting, kinder myself! Constructing a message, and she really stuck in my new incarnation, and sort reacting. -But I didnt even know what assessment meant, or filters, are gone and my thoughts were linear... Constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and your California Privacy Rights and.... 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Our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and your California Privacy Rights illness especially. Documentation, I was admitted to the rehabilitation unit at Homerton hospital for three-month... Definitely thought about contacting Apple when we needed money being dead on me and!, the words had slid off the page therapies that you found useful in your recovery made huge! November 2011 a dreaded criminal syndicate dredges up past tragedies and ultimately her! Her help from the Guardian every morning the doctors couldnt tell me why Ihad lost the ability to,! Just became really interested in his films scientists using technology to repair & ;. Searching for my phone but the sounds were overwhelming but I try not to get to the hospital at and... On, and browsing cooking blogs mefive minutes later, crouching on the floor outside myflat found very useful Occupational. Sophie Robinson to enlist her help emotions are much stronger in the.... 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