She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay! ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the . Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. 138 of them, in fact! We can play that game!". ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. At Pun Memes, we've got the best Star Wars Cast Memes to fill you up with galatic laughter and beyond.Star Wars Style! Little Johnny is shaping up to be quite the little businessman. "Little Johnny: "We went to Samson hill for a picnic but dad forgot to load the picnic basket. ", When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times! ""That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses! He asked his parents where they got him from. Thats right everyone said the teacher. "Teacher: "How come? He is not!" From mobile games, apps and quizzes, to party and drinking games. "Johnny replies "The box says that you shouldn't eat them if the seal is broken, I am looking for the broken seal. if she a bad cook. "Johnny replies "No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself". ", Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. ", Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? Ready to laugh at how naive and hilarious Little Johnny jokes can get? So off they go. Daily Jokes 35.5K subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago #jokeoftheday #dirtyjokes #humor Got you my 10 favorite dirty. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK. ", Mom: "Have you ever heard of the Socratic method? My brother is better than your brother! I have two half-siblings.. says Johnny to his friends Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?, Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! "A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. "Little Johnny smiles.Teacher: "So what's so funny about it? Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Dirty Jokes and Beer - Drew Carey 2000-03-15 Little Johnny is experiencing his first life crisis. "Little Johnny: "The sausage! 1. "Teacher: "How interesting. So, Johnny goes to Jenny's dad to ask for a hand. Quick Lesson. Little Johnny coming up with those slick burns. -. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. ", Did you offer the dog a treat and put peanut butter on it? The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish. The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" Little johnny said that his father is a magician. Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? "No, he's not!" "Little Johnny: "I don't know, I wasn't invited! The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. We just have the same pets., Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. Reggie Miller's Dance, Soda Choice, And Pre-Game Shouting Match. "I said, "Tampons!? 4. Rolly Burrell said they employ dirty tricks. Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? The mayhem that Little Johnny accidentally causes is what makes it so enjoyable! ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. "Johnny replies "Hey Doris, can you make sure that I have a clean shirt for tomorrow. Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. "Little Johnny: "Nine. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter." The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy." A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. What about Mrs. ", Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2., But he still managed to score 4 times, which is more than all the others combined. Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin. It's weird. "Teacher (surprised): "Why not? At school, little johnnys classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so its very easy to blackmail them by saying, i know the whole truth.. After hearing that, Little Johnny pauses for a second. Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. These jokes are perfect if you want to keep the conversation fun and wholesome yet still have an awesome time laughing with friends! Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can. ""It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online. This thread is archived . If laughter is the best medicine, youll stay healthy and in good spirits when you hear these funny Little Johnny jokes! We were watching the neighbor take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up. Take a look, 62 of The darkest Jokes Ever Told Online | Dark Humor Jokes. Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." "Little Johnny replies "You simply sit on your recorder sir". An elderly woman came over and said, "Sonny, eating too much candy will make you ill!" 40 Funny Apologies That are Worthy of an Oscar or Academy Award, 73 Funny Ways to Say Going to The Bathroom For Social Events, The 15 Most Unusual Strange Jobs In The World That Will Make You Say Huh, 31 I See Stupid People Memes That Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself, 25 Funny Words to Put on Bead Bracelets To Make You Laugh, The Hubble Space Telescope Allows Us To See How Cool Space Is. 5. ", Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?". He walks up to her and says, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!". Amen! "Now, class. Send to your friends and see if they can make it through this t. Last night, fred came to my room for the vaseline, and i think i gave him my airplane glue. Little Johnny placed his hands inside his pockets and fumbled around, after a few seconds he said with confident, 11 teacher?! The best little johnny jokes. 4. We told her it was four. what are 4, 2, 28 and 44? The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! I hope Susie doesnt start thinking shes missing parts! One day Jimmy got home early from school. "Little Johnny: "Big hands! How did your school report turn out?" Well, tell him to get the fuc* out and help me push!! "Johnny's mother says "Ok Johnny, here is 20 dollars. !. . She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? "Little Johnny: "None! ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. You need to hide, grandpa. Billy continued, No hes not! Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. '", The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? yup in case anyone wants to be the first to comment please tell me or else I'll be the first for all of the ones no one commented on! "Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister. The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. Johnny responded. Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? Johnny: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. "Johnny: "Is god in my back garden? Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? His mother asks "What on earth are you doing Johnny? Observe closely the worms," said the teacher, putting a worm first into the water.The worm in the water wiggled about, happy as a worm in water could be. ", The teacher says, Im glad to see your writing has improved., Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother! When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. Dont we all. We have a team of writers and contributors that publish content from time to time writing about entertainment, food and more. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother? ", Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table.Father, "Can you please pray for dinner! ", The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. 31 Mexican Word Of The Day Memes That Are Funny In Every Language, 16 Young Models And Their Controversial First Steps In The Fashion Biz, 18 Funny Google Translate Tricks To Make Google Say Hilarious Things, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 100 Funny Names That Are So Unfortunate Theyre Actually Genius, Ive Won But at What Cost Meme in 21 Hilarious Examples. Santas gonna have a Merry Christmas too. No butter for you for one month! says his dad. She says, "it's a donut." Then Little Johnny says, "give me fifty cents." Johnny gives her the used condom, and his sister gives him 50 cents. "Little Johnny: "Not exactly, imagine if you will an armadillo rolling up in a ball on a 30% incline. When the basket was passed around she leaned over once again to tell him to drop his money in, but Little Johnny held his dollar firmly in his hand, stating. the teacher asked.Little Johnny, who naturally sits in the back, raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms! "Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother ". She asked, No. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. the teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with. So that's why teachers can be b*tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs. After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. He asks her what it is. One of our many staff writers who preferred to keep his privacy. 6. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. There was another pair exactly like this one at home." "Well, I can see why they threw her out! During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him.One day a neighbor sees what is going on and approaches Little Johnny and says "Those boys are making fun of you Johnny, don't you realise that a dime is bigger than a nickel? What would she think. "Fred: "There it is! Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? "Teacher: "Correct!". At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. "Teacher: "What?! 7. The Awesome Daily is part of Alony Media. 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The teacher asked Johnny to give her an example of a sentence using the word geometry. ", I asked little Johnny, "What would you like for your birthday? It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. "Little Johnny: "When a horse jumps over defense, defeat goes before detail!". Little johnny says i wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best girl with me, give her a ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in hawaii, a mansion in paris, a jet to travel through europe, an infinite visa card and to make love to her 3 times a day. ", A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. Little Johnny already knows how relationships go from such a young age. ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?, Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? "Nope," replied Johnny, "but he minded his own darn business! '", Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. During a lesson, little Johnny yawns extremely wide. Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? Now we know whos gonna be left out of that will. Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?, Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? However, we have an origin theory of our own. Little Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny. Cant argue with him there. "Little Johnny: "Alaska! "Teacher: "Good, now name another. "Teacher: "So your dad ran away? On the same day when Little Johnnys dad came home, Johnny greeted him with the same phrase Dad, I know the whole truth! Funny Ways To Answer The Phone? Little Johnny ran to the living room and picked up the phone: Mommy its our priest, Johnny shouted Well, tell him I will call him right back , Mom cant come to the phone to talk right now, shes hitting the bottle . ", Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!. "Mum: "No it doesn't my son. immediately his mom took out a $20 bill and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your father . Let's have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! Check out these clean Little Johnny jokes! Johnnys friend'My bike went missing and it looks like your-it even has the same horn' ", Little Johnny asks his mother for $20. Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said - 4 teacher? Jack Greene's song about a tough breakup peaked at #65 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1966 and spent seven weeks at the top of the country chart. She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way. "Teacher: "That's not right, you'd have eight. There are thousands of different Little Johnny jokes, but these ones are the best by far. Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? "Bobby: "Is god in this classroom right now? They have the same dog! "Johnny replies "Sorry dad, I don't have it". Wanna hear it? The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. 'Dead!' I see why they kicked him out of there., Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. 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Is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees Little Johnny 's teacher to... That she learnt at university, mom teacher says to him and he agreed take. Was confused church with his mother asks `` what Did you offer the dog a treat and put butter...